marriage 101- gnyana oli

Ok whoever said married life is filled with everyday surprises, love poems, unbeleivably romantic evenings, roses, laughter, gifts and sweet nothings, that guy/girl is an idiot, actually these have been long said in context related to the "engaged/committed" period, whether it was approved or not by the soceity.
These were never used for after marriage context.

Anyway that doesnt mean, everyday married life sucks, its just not painted right, we often get carried away by movies, no wife is Shreya and no husband is whoever that is,(I dont have a current favourite star). Its a battle between two ego centric human beings trying to find harmony and meet each other's expecations.

Its a learning curve and probably watching the curve grow linearly as time goes by is what its all about. I often forget to watch my curve outside the box.

Its a race against love and ego. Love wins of course most of the times !

I am not talking about the physical love which has been wrongly portrayed by holding hands, hugging etc, I have come to understand that its is the moral support and kindness that we deliver each other through our actions everyday. It is special and happens only in spousal relationship. We have to accept that its a conditional relationship, but the returns are not instantaneous..

We as girls do dwell in a dream world and build expectations that are not met.I agree, but soon we understand that marriage is not about the physical relationship but respecting the space between the two of them and trying to find solace even in their silences.

He wants to watch NFL, I want to watch home and garden network on the TV
he has no topics to talk about , I cant stop talking
he wants to relax, I dont want to cook,

an so on..
but these dont have to be mere complaints, the moment we agree that we have different tastes and are differnt people and find a way to bring in both of our qualities to the table, it becomes easy.
Easy said than done right?
It takes practice, and may be a lifetime to perfect this.
Its a battle to adjust to a new set of preferences, ideas, choices, lifestyles,obsessive compulsions , who said its easy. Its is not an era of housewives adjusting and not expecting anything in return. Women want something back in return to their energy investment.

There is nothing unmanly about doing house holdwork or taking care of your wife, a few words of comfort is what your wife needs, the husbands can definitely do that, if they were able to do that before marriage why not all the time.

Similaryly, what if your husband wants to watch NFL or browse the internet, he is unwinding in his own way and he will automatically bounce back to you, and they dont need help for every little thing, if they need it they will ask for it.

It is a music that two different strings of different origin are trying to create and
it takes years of practice to excel this creation. So all we need is a ton of patience and remember how we felt on the first day we met each other and decided to stay together till death.

Love starts at home, if two different humans can find a way to adjust to each other , so is living in a society filled with people of different kinds.

That is why they say Men are from mars and women are from venus