Chennai vs Chicago

Chicago - 1) husband
2) Work
3) home
4) car
5) friends

Chennai - 1) parents
2) food
3) childhood memories
4) mother tongue
5) culture and roots


well I really cant make this choice, where ever I am, I am going to enjoy every moment.

marriage 101- gnyana oli

Ok whoever said married life is filled with everyday surprises, love poems, unbeleivably romantic evenings, roses, laughter, gifts and sweet nothings, that guy/girl is an idiot, actually these have been long said in context related to the "engaged/committed" period, whether it was approved or not by the soceity.
These were never used for after marriage context.

Anyway that doesnt mean, everyday married life sucks, its just not painted right, we often get carried away by movies, no wife is Shreya and no husband is whoever that is,(I dont have a current favourite star). Its a battle between two ego centric human beings trying to find harmony and meet each other's expecations.

Its a learning curve and probably watching the curve grow linearly as time goes by is what its all about. I often forget to watch my curve outside the box.

Its a race against love and ego. Love wins of course most of the times !

I am not talking about the physical love which has been wrongly portrayed by holding hands, hugging etc, I have come to understand that its is the moral support and kindness that we deliver each other through our actions everyday. It is special and happens only in spousal relationship. We have to accept that its a conditional relationship, but the returns are not instantaneous..

We as girls do dwell in a dream world and build expectations that are not met.I agree, but soon we understand that marriage is not about the physical relationship but respecting the space between the two of them and trying to find solace even in their silences.

He wants to watch NFL, I want to watch home and garden network on the TV
he has no topics to talk about , I cant stop talking
he wants to relax, I dont want to cook,

an so on..
but these dont have to be mere complaints, the moment we agree that we have different tastes and are differnt people and find a way to bring in both of our qualities to the table, it becomes easy.
Easy said than done right?
It takes practice, and may be a lifetime to perfect this.
Its a battle to adjust to a new set of preferences, ideas, choices, lifestyles,obsessive compulsions , who said its easy. Its is not an era of housewives adjusting and not expecting anything in return. Women want something back in return to their energy investment.

There is nothing unmanly about doing house holdwork or taking care of your wife, a few words of comfort is what your wife needs, the husbands can definitely do that, if they were able to do that before marriage why not all the time.

Similaryly, what if your husband wants to watch NFL or browse the internet, he is unwinding in his own way and he will automatically bounce back to you, and they dont need help for every little thing, if they need it they will ask for it.

It is a music that two different strings of different origin are trying to create and
it takes years of practice to excel this creation. So all we need is a ton of patience and remember how we felt on the first day we met each other and decided to stay together till death.

Love starts at home, if two different humans can find a way to adjust to each other , so is living in a society filled with people of different kinds.

That is why they say Men are from mars and women are from venus

The English Deepavali

This year is a bummer with the July 4 th being a midweek holiday, we cannot really take 2 days off, so I am guessing many like me are going to stay close to their zipcodes.So I plan to see fireworks in the windy city this time.

There are few things that come to my mind every year when I watch July 4 th fireworks,
The talented chinese, talk about creativity ! what a beautiful way to express your happiness to the whole world in artistic way and also letting people share the joy.

The Diwalis that I have missed so far since 6 years, the sweets and savories which were all home made from the pure ghee from the pasum paal (cow's milk), busvanam, mathapu and lakshmi vedis.

How amazing are these fireworks sprouting from every corner of the sky like its a natural event from another galaxy cretaed by aliens. The effect gets magnified in many folds when it sparkles in the wavy water and fades off at the bank which makes the whole crowd do a chorus awwwwwweeeeee's and wow's.
Lifestyle in US may be quite different, in the ways I celebrate american diwali or the hot fries instead of mixture or kaara boondhi, but when I watch the fireworks, its the same excitement that churns up with a beating heart when I was a child watching those busvanams ( flowere pots like fire cracker)waiting for what the next display would be.
Happy holiday to everyone, it only means a happy relaxing day infront of the TV , with maggi or even better a potluck for which you provide chips and drinks. You dont have to run to the office cursing the traffic in the early AM, what more can one ask than staying late in bed!

enjoy your break!

Fireworks from various places in US

Man was created to enjoy on earth and this is one of those examples.

Flights of the conchords

Wierd comedy series on HBO , sunday night after Entourage, but unbeleivably funny, ROFL !!!!!!'
MUST SEE.
Its about 2 new zealanders trying to find their way in NYK as muscians. Their songs and lyrics made me laugh so hard, my stomach hurt so bad.
The best part was the sad song about them being hurt by a girl.

AR.Rahman concert in Chicago

DNA and myself were able to get tickets just 2 weeks before. It didnt quite hit me until I saw the crowd at Sears center, I heard it was around 9000. We got comfortable seats on second floor.

The entire 3 hour was a stunning performance by AR-Rahman and other artists. Unfortunatley I dont have any videos or photos to share. My lovable DNA had kindly forgotten to bring the camera for which he remembered to charge the battery.

We both had a great time screaming, applauding , me ( whistling) with the rest of the crowd. Our section of the gallery made the least noise, and the max contribution was from both of us I think.

opening solo bit by Chitra from rang de basanti.
Sukwinder Singh - ramta jogi from Taal
and except for 2 songs in Shivaji ( new Rajini movie) rest of them were sung, wow I have nt seen such excitement anywhere else. The best songs that the crowd enjoyed the most were Chaiyya Chaiyya by sukhwinder singh, all Shivaji songs, Humma Humma by ARR himself and Thodi si dool meri from Rang De basanti sung by Kailash Ker.

I had nt seen any of the new singers like naresh Iyer, Blaze, Madhushree and by the way chaiyy chaiyya female part ( original Ila Arun) was sung by the very own sister of ARR , Rehana who has also sung Balelika from Sivaji.


I never thought I would be able to see ARR, Chitra, Hariharan but it was unbeleivable.

We literally screamed throughout the show. Since there was nuch hype about Sivaji songs, as a member of Chicago Tamil crowd I was so thrilled.
It was a good day to remember. if there is one again I am in for it.
Go ARR!!

miss to missus, mr to ??? Wedidng part 2

The much awaited wedding day came, I had knots in my stomach, all my 26 years came back like a quick trailer of a boring movie. I liked being single. It meant lazy life to me but then I was excited about the company that I will always have, so my face lit up. I had flowers all over me, that just weighed a ton on my head and shoulders and I loved it.

Kanoonjal ( bride and groom are treated as Krishna and rukmani and are seated in a swing,given banana and milk by important lady relatives , don't know why!) DNA kept whining about the mushy stuff on his hands.

Since the muhurtham couldn't start till after an hour, we just sat there. At least people could have left the two kids alone, no they wouldn't! We greeted and welcomed all the guests as we were trying to kill time, our rear ends slept off as we were not supposed to get up from the swing for over an hour.
Finally the vadhiyar(priest) released us from our immobilized state, thanks to DNA, he cried and hugged the priest's legs until he would let us go.

When we re-entered the marriage hall for the actual wedding muhurtam, every one was looking at us, I have never gotten so much attention from such a big crowd,I was debating between if I should smile at every one or just make a quick run and let DNA suffer. I was really conscious now of my every movement.

But everything happened so fast, my heart would have actually popped out my chest. There was this small ritual performed by all DNA family ladies. I can never forget, I was surrounded by all of them and they were dancing around me, clapping and singing some kind of welcome song for the new daughter in law who is going to light up the lamp of their house. Before that,the same group ganged up on me to tie a 9 yards saree, why did they make it so complicated? I would nt know. The real picture if one can imagine was so funny, I was in the middle and there were so many hands flying around me, trying to tuck in pieces of saree in every possible corner of the outfit, I was crying to myself, and asking someone to save me from a major wardrobe malfunction. But it turned out well though. I was finally so glad when it was done.

Then I was asked to sit down on my father's lap. I agree that in the olden days, the brides were kids so the father was actually giving away a kid to a new family, but a fully grown 120 lbs person sitting on someone's lap is not a pretty picture, but who will listen to me. I was hoping not to slide down my father's lap. I was still nervous about my 9 yards saree, I was waiting to change into some comfortable outfit. I was able to do that very soon after 5 days in the US.

It was an unforgettable moment when the three knots landed on my neck and suddenly I liked myself being called Mrs. DNA.

The flowers and akshadai ( rice +turmeric) showered on us, it was truly a emotional moment, I could hear Srinivasan singing Mangalyam thandunane, endrendum punnagai from alaipayuthe.. hehe
after that we were on our own, sobbing infront of the fire with more rituals. I was nt too tired of pictures as I expected it to be, atleaset there was some reward for the many hours I spent grooming myself and I generally a kind of person, who enjoys posing and taking other's pics.

We had a small gahapravesam,where I stepped into my in law's place for the first time after marriage, then we headed to the registration office. Thanks to the Ms whoever worked there and the officer(we had to donate some dakshinai to him too!!),we got the application done. We had a scaled down version of Nalangu, the groom refused to sing, I should have persisted on it just to let the world know of my secret tortures that I go through occasionally when DNA tries translate tamil songs to English. Reception was filled with dance and music both old and new gigs. DNA was soaked in his sweat doing his kuthu dance. He was out of control. This is what wedding is all about, people change in to new personalities, they all became small kids again let their innocent fun age spill out in colors. After standing 4 hours on a high stool, I wanted to be in the spa but no, I had to get out of dream. The next day was kattu sada koodai program, they make parcels of food and distribute it to relatives for their journey back home, there was an exchange of vote of thanks from both sides which was touching too.

I literally don't even remember how many times I changed sarees and Salwars, it was laborious, for every costume, there is hair styling, there is makeup and then the sweating, then re applying it was a never ending loop. So many sarees that one can wear for an entire span of life.Phewww!!!

It was a fantastic trip and a perfect wedding, a true Tamil iyer kalyanam (wedding). Right from the relatives grouping every corner of the house preparing for each event.The endless agendas, un manageable menu of unbelievabel tasty food, the family gathering with mamas, mamis sisters and neices, nephews and cousins. Its was a big mela. Everything was memorable. Exhausting but exhilarating. Every calorie filled meal was one month worth of sugar!!

The essence of being an Indian if felt at few times, would be those 3 weeks for me. I do miss the tradition, though its in our hearts, it remains dormant overseas. Our culture is so beautiful, I appreciate and also hate its flaws and silly superstitious beliefs. It adds a wonderful flavour to my life. I am now what my iyer culture has taught me and I don't regret it.

I think I got a good deal so far. I will wait to see whats ahead!!

wedding part one: Just getting ready !

It doesn't look good without having a song for my story, I stole one and its every one's favourite.


Its been on my mind to to save those small memories of my wedding trip, so may be this is my small attempt to cherish them through words.

My dear husband, caused me a needless panic for my entire 17 hour trip to Chennai just because he forgot to check if his cell phone was working, because the 100 times I called his stupid voice mail answered, but I should nt worry whatever it is ! right ? When I got to know he was at his bachelor party when I was trying to call, I just had a fit. He does it even now ! That's when I realized we would be paralyzed without Internet or cell phone and guys sometimes wouldnt change in some matters. Anyway besides that, I was a little tensed and more excited to see all my kith and kin.

It was a brutal summer and it had only started. It seemed that the NRI's complain more than the RIs how so? Its true I wanted to come back by the second day. For 2 weeks, I shopped the entire length of T.nagar, every day and every night. If someone could pass out just shopping that could have been me. Thanks to the AC cars, I was saved. Except the heat, I had a good time shopping every tiny thing from head to toe to match my sarees, making tons of mental notes and forgetting them.

Mapillai came and that set the clock to just 4 more days to the big day.
Everyday there was a ritual and a feast, it started off with the
Mangali pondugal - Its a ladies function where they basically serve all kinds of delicious food and they bless the family. It must have been a 110 inside the kitchen as the mami was cooking yummy kesari and vadai, poor mami but I loved the entire 18 course meal,Gaapathy homam , cannot forget to say hi to him before starting any good thing, tying banana tree with mugappu outside our house etc.Then came the pre-wedding day which included viradham, pandha kaal and engagement.On that night, DNA asked me again if I would marry him, may be I should have used that opportunity, hmm too late now! I just said I would think about it and later said yes just before the muhurtham, next day.

As usual we took umpty number of photos, with family and friends.I dont know why South indians are so conscious the moment they are infront of a lens, the jolly chitappa and chithi seemed to stare at the poor fellow who was just clicking away pics every fraction of a second. It seemed as if they had been captured by terrorist and so were the rest of the mamas and mamis glaring for some other reasons. Hmm somebody shoud teach us all to pose for a photograph please. I sympathize for the NRI kids, when they see their relatives' pics from India, they would never want to meet the scary poochandi (character created to scare kids) faces!!


Every meal was fabulous, with desserts like kaasi alwa,tiffins like hot molaga bajji, sevai, dosai etc,poli,vadai, thair vadai, padhar peni, so many varieties of pachidi, paysams, kulambu, rasam etc, really tasty but as usual I couldnt eat as much as my head wanted to. I wished to carefully smuggle them in frozen containers thru US customs, but DNA strictly said no.

Anyway, So I tried to enjoy and relax the last few hours of single life before heading down the aisle. The next day was a big deal, I felt like I was awaiting a movie climax.I felt a tornado churning up in my tummy, last time I felt that way was when DNA came to see me. Though we were mentally ready 5 months back, the crowd, the in laws made it all look different. I could never put myself in bride's shoes, huge attention from everybody, but it felt good to get married for so many reasons. It was a rare opportunity to feel special. I think it was a good start to a new beginning...

to be proud or not to be is my question

"much of his support likely comes from an online community of young fans enthralled with his chameleon hairdos and flashing grin."

"Simon Cowell went so far as to say if Malakar wins, he'll quit."

- I think I can sing better than him, watch his "Aint no mountain high enough ..." performance and you can understand why Simon is frustrated. Sanjaya is not too bad but he is absolutely not an idol material. Ofcourse just becasue he is a desi , I am curious about this ! I really thought it was a girl after seeing his name and his appearance.

Kelly clarkson
Rubin Studdard
Fantasia Barrino
Carrie Underwood
Taylor Hicks
who's next?? better not be Sanjaya.